I know it's been a minute. Hi. Hope all is well (lying...I don't care lmao).
Well as some may know....I'm more than likely Swag Surfing across that big stage @ ODU (complete with my grad gown and tassel action). May 2010.
I am scared to death.
Not even in the classical "I'm graduating soon I'm scared y'all" way. I feel like I'm too talented, have too much charisma , and I'm too intelligent to never find my niche and just fall by the wayside. I have a dream concerning what I want to do with my life (radio but I talk about that alot here) and I don't feel its that far out of reach.
I'm simply afraid that my time in undergrad wasn't spent wisely. Not even academically...because everyone wishes they could've done a little better.
I feel like I didn't do enough. My freshman year I didn't do anything other then wrap myself up in an insane college crush thing and nearly being shot by campus cops. Second half of that year I gained some friends that I still rock with and will put it all on the line for whenever. But stilll I felt...unsatisfied. Same for sophmore yr (this is when I started to emerge from my shell...but eh). No real fun till spring sem. Junior Year was kinda crazy too but I still don't feel like I've gotten all I can out of the college experience.
Which brings me to...right now. August 11th, 2009. Roughly less than 20 days from school. Invites to party, be ignorant , and do other things of that sort piling up. I'm hyped. EXTRA HYPE! But worried at the same time...not that I'll fail out or something stupid...but that at the end of this whole college thing I'll feel the same way I did before...as if the mission is incomplete. I feel like if I don't say , do , and feel everything I want to within these 2 semesters...I blew it. I'll be totally disappointed in myself.
So. Monarchs. This is to the upcoming year. If you see me doing something a lil crazier than normal....refer back to this post. I'm tryna live it to the limit....
This is my joint by the way.
Youre Not My Girl - Ryan Leslie
2 comments:
I'm going to go w/ that you're being serious in this blog becuz w/ you I neva know... So, here goes:
You can't hold onto regrets. You can only live and learn, move forward & not repeat. Use things for growth (I know better than anyone...). I could look back @ say, "I didn't use my time wisely..." but then again? There were reasons for everything that I've ever been through. I've learned. It's molded and shaped me into who I am today.
Just consider it... & stop f*cking up. :)
All of your comments on my blog have been very real. I appreciate this one and the previous one. :)
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