"Don't Judge Me!"

So I thought about something today.

Most girls that I've been affiliated with...done anything with...etc....Sheesh in some cases girls who I simply liked and they felt the same...

We have beef. ALL of them. Except...1? maybe 2? And one of those 2 pulled a bullshit stunt I didn't appreciate...It's in her best interest to not turn this into trading shots cause you don't have enough miss (smh that was a lil fiery pardon me)...

So...lets go down the foulest shit I've done to females (Imma regret this but i need to vent)

1) Only When Ur Lonely.

I was out with her and her friend. We had a "thing". She decides to flirt with the waiter hardbody the whoolleee night(she knows him as @ the time she worked at said restaurant) and basically ignores me. Then she was talking shit to her friend when I wasnt looking or when i dipped out of the area. So...shockingly when we get away from Mr Waiter Man...she gonna try and cuddle in Walmart. Reggie Bush stiff arm for her. G'day Miss. Obviously...you can tell she deserved this .

2) Valentines Day Massacre

Back in HS...I had a sloppy crush on this girl("Z"). I asked her to be my Valentine (V-Day = my birthday) cause i dug her like that. She was like "I'll get back to you". Now mind you , her locker was DIRECTLY across from mine. She OF COURSE never got back to me. So me? I was obviously hurt...this is a blog...no time to feign hardbodyness (lmao). Before we continue on...let it be known...that whole situation hurt me ALOT more than I put on. I bounced back quick but the residual effects were there.

But I quickly had an idea! I had female friends who I was A)dumb close w/ and meant alot to me B) didn't have a Valentine or C) both. So I said...fuck it...lemme look out for people who ACTUALLY give a fuck about my feelings. So I did. Got most of em flowers except one (we'll get back to that). On Valentines , I gave one of said girls a rose right? And one of the dudes in the class ( we were friends but imma keep it SO 100...we had a rivalry over the original Valentines chick)...he blurts out "you forgot someone" talking about "Z". I say loudly in the middle of the classroom

"NO I DIDN'T."

Shock and horror spread across the room, considering a good number of people knew about the situation. After this , shorty put her head on her desk and just hid her head rest of the class. Did I feel good? I FELT GREAT. Lmao. Am I a sick bastard for feeling that way? Probably. To wrap this story up , a certain girl who liked me and was a part of this went to her and said "Rob got me this. What did you get?" "Z" spazzes out like "Robert can get you whatever the fuck he wants. I don't care!" or something to that effect. Yes...this is still funny to me.

And for the girl I didn't get flowers. I got her chocolate. I remember her telling me no one ever got her something for Valentines. So...I got her that and she appreciated it. So I did the right thing after all!

3) Swim in this Drink Boo

So "H" shows up. She comes to visit and chill with me @ my Apt. We are friends...but she has a man...and something almost happened...on a few occasions. So...obviously we have a weird relationship since the situation was never addressed ( A very wise girl told me COMMUNICATE.) .I was also told we would discuss our situation but...that never happened.She likes to try and take shots at me and toy with my emotions cause she KNOWS what I want and continues to put me in situations that would infer I'd get it. Even going as far as to say slick shit while in compromising positions. Welcome to Cocktease Land. First Stop on this tour is Blue Balls Ave. followed by Frustration St.

We happen to be going outside w/ my neighbor and this dude she kicks it with. I have a drink (hawaiian punch lemonberry + orange juice +vodka or gin + ice ...blend that joint...smoothie...its banittles try it) ANYWAYS! She decides to slap my cup as I drink it...on purpose. Yes. I watched her eyes follow my cup up to my face...then she slapped it...spilling the slushy goodness onto me and the floor. I'm drunk and heated. So what did i do? Splashed her with the drink like that chick did GUCCI!!! It was prolly half to 75% of the cup. She had on a white shirt. She had on some fly ass kicks too . Whatever. Shoulda thought of that before you felt like being a comedian. She also later admitted to hitting my cup on purpose. That totally extinguished any chance of me ever apologizing.

We still cool to this day but...that was me tired of the disrespect. I'm a mild mannered dude (well some people say I'm very angry guy but w/e). I like to party , have fun like anyone else.But when you do some dumb OD shit...what can you really expect? Plus I HATE when girls hit my cup. HATE. IVE HATED SINCE BEFORE I EVEN DRANK ALCOHOL!!!!!!

4) Facebook is THE DEVUH!!

Aight ....so I got a bad habit of doin girls IN on Facebook. Now one might think..."what kind of childish shit is that? Grow the F up Rob"....and you'd probably be right. I usually dont lash out and handle grown-up problems like a child. But guess what? These aren't grown up problems...this is kiddy shit. So lemme be 13 years old about things sometimes...I think I've earned it. Onto the point.....

No Boyfriend Huh?

Aight....so last summer there was a certain someone I was messing with...who I've mentioned on here before. We had an agreement that seein other people was fine....It was a summer thing and everyone was cool.It was understood we were both single and chillin'. So...me assuming she doesn't have a man...I'm thinking shit is all good (Could never mess with another man's girl...AT THAT TIME.)

I'm surfing one of my top 3 overly visited sites (aka Facebook) and I see her status. She makes a comment on her stat regarding "my boyfriend looks just like him." Him....being Chris Brown. So......I've been doing inappropriate shit to bootleg CB's girl....The hell kind of life am I leading. I think to myself..."Boyfriend??...wtf?"...

So....next time we link up...I do the uncomfortable task of asking her about dude.

...."So ...lemme ask you...just be honest...do you have a man?"

""*pauses...no...not anymore...he annoys me...I'm mad at him""


She said all of this....without looking in my direction.Now in my mind...I knew she was lying. But...I didn't care. I never cared. I just thought it was wack she chose to lie about something so minor. If she can't be honest...that creeps me out like...what else might she be covering up(mmm the slippery slope argument my favorite)?

But the head without the ears....did not give a damn about her newfound affinity for lying. So...that day after she did what she did (NOPE NOT TYPING OUT DETAILS) She's showing me something on her phone.....Whats on her phone background?

Some yellow dude. Looks nothing like her..he is not fam.Cousin don't work because...who the hell puts their opposite sex same age cousin on they phone background?(No West Virginia). I think..."OH SHIT SHE REALLY DOES HAVE A MAN!".....

Now the first thought that goes through my head is damn...you foul as hell Rob. And so is she.

This lasted about 3 seconds.

Next emotion was...this is hilarious...he loves her and...shes with me on the side. I'm BF #2....maybe # 3...i had no idea lmao. She's lying...just to stay around me.


Damn.

Now this is the first time I've ever been in a situation like that. If you haven't noticed , I think kinda highly of myself(my arrogance is blown out of proportion) but....this kinda changed things. Girls will go this far...for me? Thus "she has a boyfriend" became less and less of a deterrent(here's another unfortunate truth...most girls are not HALF as happy in their relationships as they project)

So.... maybe she didn't deserve how I did her. In one of my FB notes I said something to the effect of "I remember everything people say. Even things like "I don't have a man" When I know you do. Poor guy."

SMH. She responded then said some BS like "Ill never joke about having a man again!" (please just come clean no one even cares) I also exposed some other shit in that same note but you gotta be IN THE LOOP to know all that. Not some shit Imma comment on willy-nilly....

With this said...she shouldn'tve lied...because she didn't have to. I kept it 100 about everything...and she chose to keep it 45...for no real reason.

Not In MYYYY House.

So...one night at my apt at school (Dez and Steve I SEE YA) We happened to be playing a game called Dirty Hearts. Now for the uninitiated, Dirty Hearts is a game where you draw from a deck until you get a card with Hearts on it. Whatever number that corresponds with that card is the number of people who get to ask you a question. Since we are disgusting individuals , every question was of the sexual variety.

A certain someone draws. She gets asked to rank the dudes in the room in order of attractiveness. Now me and this girl have history. A very..rough history. So I knew fom the gate I was gonna hear some bullshit. And ...of course I did. She ranked me deadddd last. Now I'd say 60 percent of the room new about me and this girl , so they know she was just tryna shit on me . What she didn't understand was this: I'm Rob. I don't do that get rattled shit. I simply said..."Well you frontin but...ok." And moved on.

I get this response.

"Well you're an asshole. Maybe if you were nicer you'd be more attractive I'd rank you higher."

See but...I don't care where you rank me publicly. Cause I know where you rank me inside sweetie. Plus...this was based on looks...not personality. So whether I slapped your mom up then used your toilet w/o flushing...or if i drove ya grandma to the supermarket every Saturday makes no difference. Plus, everyone already knew I was an A-Hole.

So she draws again towards the end of the game. Now she gets asked "What are the chances that you'd ever get into any sort of relationship with Rob again?" (Inappropriate Question? Yeah kinda but whatever)

She answers 25%. then goes onto an anti -Rob spiel in front of some people that I don't really know. Don't you dare try to throw me under the bus in the presence of strangers....in my apartment.That was our business; you're making me look bad when I've gone out of my way to not trash you publicly when your very own friends shit on you every time I say your name. At this point I'm so upset (and drunk) that I can barely speak. I force out a goodbye and hug and get my ass in the bed (I believe that's what I did).

Fast forward to the next day. I'm coming back from some party with my dude in his car. I'm recapping to him what happened the previous night and getting angrier and angrier as I go on.

"Yo son I'm heated. Is she serious? Like I don't wanna be a child about it but I wanna vent. I should go black out and put the shit on Facebook."

"I think you should do it."

I sat back. Thought for a couple minutes. Then said ....Aight. Dapped my dude up...hopped out the car....went in my crib (mind you it was 6 am) ...Logged into Facebook and went OFF.

I actually went back on Facebook to find the exact status in question.

Ravishing Rob Seabrook is an asshole. But you still hit me up at midnight askin what im doin. You still come here to see my roommate...then sneak over to my room. You....still cant let go of flashbacks from 2 yrs ago that arent happening ever again....and you watch my bedroom light to see if im up...but you dont think im attractive. Stay Classy Norfolk!

UGLY. AND it was Easter. F'd up that girls dinner. She OBVIOUSLY hit me up on Facebook Chat...which lead to me saying things such as " You know what? F this conversation" and ignoring the essay length message she sent me.I'm having a damn near hour long plus argument...on the internet; I began to feel stupid so I ended that BS . Now we on a "Hi and Bye" basis and that's COOL as HELL with me. The day I accept disrespect where I lay my head at is the same day I actually hit the gym (aka NEVER.)

Random Shots

• Told a girl she must enjoy sucking meats after she confessed to getting her mouth skeeted in. Later apologized online. Her response made me wish I didn't. Now I'm not saying sorry for anything lmao...blame her.
• Didn't dance with my prom date a majority of the night cause I was pissed at her. Def didn't go near her till like the 6th song.
• Didn't tell a female friend that a dude who she was diggin was only out to smash her insides out. Only didn't speak on it cause i felt to blow the whistle on "competition" is dishonorable.
• Pushed up on a girl's friend right in front of her...because the original girl was *ahem* stuntin so in my mind showing "yo I will GET AT YO FRIEND" would speed up the process...this didn't really work it just made her fight for my attn more...HA! (smh)
• Got hit with the "I Love You" text message and changed shucked and jived my way out of having to say I love You back. See? I'm not you lames. Talmbout "I had to say I love you back Rob! I had no choice!" Yes you did...if you don't mean it don't say it; the female heart is delicate.Toying around with that L word will get you killed or stalked...or both.
  

I think that's about it for all my wrongdoings. With this said....you've noticed a recurring theme....about 95% of these girls deserved it lmao. I'd also do almost all of thse over again. Some things I wish I handled differently but...ehh not really .But don't get me wrong! I'm not a TOTAL dickface. I care. It's just most people don't give me a reason to. I could've made a "good things Rob has done for women" post but...no one wants to read that shit. Plus that reeks of "Rob is online tooting his own horn".

Until next time (aka sometime soon)!