Keep It Simple.

I'm gonna discuss someone who is vitally important in my life.

Someone I blatantly under-appreciate.

Someone I downright was at war with at a point in time.




My father.


Now my dad...is like a TV dad. 6'3. Strong. Heart of gold. The EPITOME of bravery. Easily the most charming person I know. And as a kid...he was my hero. I wanted to be just like him...even though I didn't know it. I wanted to be a cop...just like him. I even chewed my food like him (he doesn't even know this).You ask me at that age...no one is cooler than him. Not even the Green Ranger!!!!!!!!!!!

But our issue?? We are too much alike. And we always were.

So naturally when I hit that good ol' 13-14 "I got a lil facial hair so F everyone else" age...It was ugly. I'm talking about we arguing like meatheads...OVER THROWING OUT THE GARBAGE. WASHING DISHES!!!!...sad in hindsight. Imagine being an overly mature for your age young teen...and not having the greatest relationship with the grown version of you. Naturally , I'm doing everything to not be like him. That's just how I felt....it is what it is.

I went through some issues right before my freshman year (2006). He said something to me that...rubbed me the wrong way. I'm not putting my whole life out there...but that's basically what it was. I went off to college with a fire in my soul that I still can't recreate. It affected my whole style. Everything. My words. My demeanor. Unfortunately...my relationships. I was too brash. Didn't wanna commit to anything. Liked to keep to myself even more than usual.

Thing about me is I suck at fixing bridges. If I'm not in the wrong I'm not interested with cleaning anything up. I'm not gonna change either cause I see life like this. If we're not "cool"...there's a good reason. You don't like me?? You probably have a valid reason...won't keep me up at night.


But me and my dad kept me up at night. I mean nightmares of us arguing type shit. I think something finally clicked the night I had a dream we had a sword fight...but neither of us would get hurt. I woke up and knew....I had to change.

What's so wild is...ever since I turned about 18 he's treated me the way I always wanted ; like a grown man. So you give me that amount of respect???...Time for me to act like a grown ass man.

I knew I didn't spend enough time with him when I was home. Then I imagined how it must feel for your freshly 21 yr old son to be more involved with his own life. The same son you scrubbed in the bathtub 20 years ago. Nearly bought me to tears (anyone will tell you I'm not a very emotional guy at all).

So this summer... I talked to my father a lot. Spent time with him...not as much as I could've but I'll improve. He's real religious...I'm not. I think he understands but I respect him. Personally , I'm still on a search when it comes to religion(that's a whole 'nother discussion). I He loves fishing. He loves watching NBA games. He's also the greatest father anyone could ask for. In all our talks I've learned who my father is again. I've become a better man due to it....I understand everything I do.

When I look in the mirror and I see him. When I talk...that's my dad. My sense of humor???...Same guy. I'm at peace with myself...the one thing that was bothering me for so long...is finally straightening out. I've improved across the board...when I finally stopped being selfish.

To wrap it up...he IS my hero. I can only wish that I'll be even half the man my father is. How dare I harbor anger towards him...when he stuck around. I'm a dying breed : A black youth with a father who's still in his life. He's been married to my mom 20 plus years. In addition to being a great man..he's shown me how to be a great husband. Thank you.


I told y'all this for one reason. Get yourself right with those you love. You never know how much it's bogging you down until it's alleviated.

So in conclusion...I love you Dad. See ya on Thanksgiving!

See you soon. No really this time...lol

The Walking Disclaimer.

I know it's been a minute. Hi. Hope all is well (lying...I don't care lmao).

Well as some may know....I'm more than likely Swag Surfing across that big stage @ ODU (complete with my grad gown and tassel action). May 2010.


I am scared to death.

Not even in the classical "I'm graduating soon I'm scared y'all" way. I feel like I'm too talented, have too much charisma , and I'm too intelligent to never find my niche and just fall by the wayside. I have a dream concerning what I want to do with my life (radio but I talk about that alot here) and I don't feel its that far out of reach.

I'm simply afraid that my time in undergrad wasn't spent wisely. Not even academically...because everyone wishes they could've done a little better.

I feel like I didn't do enough. My freshman year I didn't do anything other then wrap myself up in an insane college crush thing and nearly being shot by campus cops. Second half of that year I gained some friends that I still rock with and will put it all on the line for whenever. But stilll I felt...unsatisfied. Same for sophmore yr (this is when I started to emerge from my shell...but eh). No real fun till spring sem. Junior Year was kinda crazy too but I still don't feel like I've gotten all I can out of the college experience.

Which brings me to...right now. August 11th, 2009. Roughly less than 20 days from school. Invites to party, be ignorant , and do other things of that sort piling up. I'm hyped. EXTRA HYPE! But worried at the same time...not that I'll fail out or something stupid...but that at the end of this whole college thing I'll feel the same way I did before...as if the mission is incomplete. I feel like if I don't say , do , and feel everything I want to within these 2 semesters...I blew it. I'll be totally disappointed in myself.

So. Monarchs. This is to the upcoming year. If you see me doing something a lil crazier than normal....refer back to this post. I'm tryna live it to the limit....


This is my joint by the way.

Youre Not My Girl - Ryan Leslie

"Don't Judge Me!"

So I thought about something today.

Most girls that I've been affiliated with...done anything with...etc....Sheesh in some cases girls who I simply liked and they felt the same...

We have beef. ALL of them. Except...1? maybe 2? And one of those 2 pulled a bullshit stunt I didn't appreciate...It's in her best interest to not turn this into trading shots cause you don't have enough miss (smh that was a lil fiery pardon me)...

So...lets go down the foulest shit I've done to females (Imma regret this but i need to vent)

1) Only When Ur Lonely.

I was out with her and her friend. We had a "thing". She decides to flirt with the waiter hardbody the whoolleee night(she knows him as @ the time she worked at said restaurant) and basically ignores me. Then she was talking shit to her friend when I wasnt looking or when i dipped out of the area. So...shockingly when we get away from Mr Waiter Man...she gonna try and cuddle in Walmart. Reggie Bush stiff arm for her. G'day Miss. Obviously...you can tell she deserved this .

2) Valentines Day Massacre

Back in HS...I had a sloppy crush on this girl("Z"). I asked her to be my Valentine (V-Day = my birthday) cause i dug her like that. She was like "I'll get back to you". Now mind you , her locker was DIRECTLY across from mine. She OF COURSE never got back to me. So me? I was obviously hurt...this is a blog...no time to feign hardbodyness (lmao). Before we continue on...let it be known...that whole situation hurt me ALOT more than I put on. I bounced back quick but the residual effects were there.

But I quickly had an idea! I had female friends who I was A)dumb close w/ and meant alot to me B) didn't have a Valentine or C) both. So I said...fuck it...lemme look out for people who ACTUALLY give a fuck about my feelings. So I did. Got most of em flowers except one (we'll get back to that). On Valentines , I gave one of said girls a rose right? And one of the dudes in the class ( we were friends but imma keep it SO 100...we had a rivalry over the original Valentines chick)...he blurts out "you forgot someone" talking about "Z". I say loudly in the middle of the classroom

"NO I DIDN'T."

Shock and horror spread across the room, considering a good number of people knew about the situation. After this , shorty put her head on her desk and just hid her head rest of the class. Did I feel good? I FELT GREAT. Lmao. Am I a sick bastard for feeling that way? Probably. To wrap this story up , a certain girl who liked me and was a part of this went to her and said "Rob got me this. What did you get?" "Z" spazzes out like "Robert can get you whatever the fuck he wants. I don't care!" or something to that effect. Yes...this is still funny to me.

And for the girl I didn't get flowers. I got her chocolate. I remember her telling me no one ever got her something for Valentines. So...I got her that and she appreciated it. So I did the right thing after all!

3) Swim in this Drink Boo

So "H" shows up. She comes to visit and chill with me @ my Apt. We are friends...but she has a man...and something almost happened...on a few occasions. So...obviously we have a weird relationship since the situation was never addressed ( A very wise girl told me COMMUNICATE.) .I was also told we would discuss our situation but...that never happened.She likes to try and take shots at me and toy with my emotions cause she KNOWS what I want and continues to put me in situations that would infer I'd get it. Even going as far as to say slick shit while in compromising positions. Welcome to Cocktease Land. First Stop on this tour is Blue Balls Ave. followed by Frustration St.

We happen to be going outside w/ my neighbor and this dude she kicks it with. I have a drink (hawaiian punch lemonberry + orange juice +vodka or gin + ice ...blend that joint...smoothie...its banittles try it) ANYWAYS! She decides to slap my cup as I drink it...on purpose. Yes. I watched her eyes follow my cup up to my face...then she slapped it...spilling the slushy goodness onto me and the floor. I'm drunk and heated. So what did i do? Splashed her with the drink like that chick did GUCCI!!! It was prolly half to 75% of the cup. She had on a white shirt. She had on some fly ass kicks too . Whatever. Shoulda thought of that before you felt like being a comedian. She also later admitted to hitting my cup on purpose. That totally extinguished any chance of me ever apologizing.

We still cool to this day but...that was me tired of the disrespect. I'm a mild mannered dude (well some people say I'm very angry guy but w/e). I like to party , have fun like anyone else.But when you do some dumb OD shit...what can you really expect? Plus I HATE when girls hit my cup. HATE. IVE HATED SINCE BEFORE I EVEN DRANK ALCOHOL!!!!!!

4) Facebook is THE DEVUH!!

Aight ....so I got a bad habit of doin girls IN on Facebook. Now one might think..."what kind of childish shit is that? Grow the F up Rob"....and you'd probably be right. I usually dont lash out and handle grown-up problems like a child. But guess what? These aren't grown up problems...this is kiddy shit. So lemme be 13 years old about things sometimes...I think I've earned it. Onto the point.....

No Boyfriend Huh?

Aight....so last summer there was a certain someone I was messing with...who I've mentioned on here before. We had an agreement that seein other people was fine....It was a summer thing and everyone was cool.It was understood we were both single and chillin'. So...me assuming she doesn't have a man...I'm thinking shit is all good (Could never mess with another man's girl...AT THAT TIME.)

I'm surfing one of my top 3 overly visited sites (aka Facebook) and I see her status. She makes a comment on her stat regarding "my boyfriend looks just like him." Him....being Chris Brown. So......I've been doing inappropriate shit to bootleg CB's girl....The hell kind of life am I leading. I think to myself..."Boyfriend??...wtf?"...

So....next time we link up...I do the uncomfortable task of asking her about dude.

...."So ...lemme ask you...just be honest...do you have a man?"

""*pauses...no...not anymore...he annoys me...I'm mad at him""


She said all of this....without looking in my direction.Now in my mind...I knew she was lying. But...I didn't care. I never cared. I just thought it was wack she chose to lie about something so minor. If she can't be honest...that creeps me out like...what else might she be covering up(mmm the slippery slope argument my favorite)?

But the head without the ears....did not give a damn about her newfound affinity for lying. So...that day after she did what she did (NOPE NOT TYPING OUT DETAILS) She's showing me something on her phone.....Whats on her phone background?

Some yellow dude. Looks nothing like her..he is not fam.Cousin don't work because...who the hell puts their opposite sex same age cousin on they phone background?(No West Virginia). I think..."OH SHIT SHE REALLY DOES HAVE A MAN!".....

Now the first thought that goes through my head is damn...you foul as hell Rob. And so is she.

This lasted about 3 seconds.

Next emotion was...this is hilarious...he loves her and...shes with me on the side. I'm BF #2....maybe # 3...i had no idea lmao. She's lying...just to stay around me.


Damn.

Now this is the first time I've ever been in a situation like that. If you haven't noticed , I think kinda highly of myself(my arrogance is blown out of proportion) but....this kinda changed things. Girls will go this far...for me? Thus "she has a boyfriend" became less and less of a deterrent(here's another unfortunate truth...most girls are not HALF as happy in their relationships as they project)

So.... maybe she didn't deserve how I did her. In one of my FB notes I said something to the effect of "I remember everything people say. Even things like "I don't have a man" When I know you do. Poor guy."

SMH. She responded then said some BS like "Ill never joke about having a man again!" (please just come clean no one even cares) I also exposed some other shit in that same note but you gotta be IN THE LOOP to know all that. Not some shit Imma comment on willy-nilly....

With this said...she shouldn'tve lied...because she didn't have to. I kept it 100 about everything...and she chose to keep it 45...for no real reason.

Not In MYYYY House.

So...one night at my apt at school (Dez and Steve I SEE YA) We happened to be playing a game called Dirty Hearts. Now for the uninitiated, Dirty Hearts is a game where you draw from a deck until you get a card with Hearts on it. Whatever number that corresponds with that card is the number of people who get to ask you a question. Since we are disgusting individuals , every question was of the sexual variety.

A certain someone draws. She gets asked to rank the dudes in the room in order of attractiveness. Now me and this girl have history. A very..rough history. So I knew fom the gate I was gonna hear some bullshit. And ...of course I did. She ranked me deadddd last. Now I'd say 60 percent of the room new about me and this girl , so they know she was just tryna shit on me . What she didn't understand was this: I'm Rob. I don't do that get rattled shit. I simply said..."Well you frontin but...ok." And moved on.

I get this response.

"Well you're an asshole. Maybe if you were nicer you'd be more attractive I'd rank you higher."

See but...I don't care where you rank me publicly. Cause I know where you rank me inside sweetie. Plus...this was based on looks...not personality. So whether I slapped your mom up then used your toilet w/o flushing...or if i drove ya grandma to the supermarket every Saturday makes no difference. Plus, everyone already knew I was an A-Hole.

So she draws again towards the end of the game. Now she gets asked "What are the chances that you'd ever get into any sort of relationship with Rob again?" (Inappropriate Question? Yeah kinda but whatever)

She answers 25%. then goes onto an anti -Rob spiel in front of some people that I don't really know. Don't you dare try to throw me under the bus in the presence of strangers....in my apartment.That was our business; you're making me look bad when I've gone out of my way to not trash you publicly when your very own friends shit on you every time I say your name. At this point I'm so upset (and drunk) that I can barely speak. I force out a goodbye and hug and get my ass in the bed (I believe that's what I did).

Fast forward to the next day. I'm coming back from some party with my dude in his car. I'm recapping to him what happened the previous night and getting angrier and angrier as I go on.

"Yo son I'm heated. Is she serious? Like I don't wanna be a child about it but I wanna vent. I should go black out and put the shit on Facebook."

"I think you should do it."

I sat back. Thought for a couple minutes. Then said ....Aight. Dapped my dude up...hopped out the car....went in my crib (mind you it was 6 am) ...Logged into Facebook and went OFF.

I actually went back on Facebook to find the exact status in question.

Ravishing Rob Seabrook is an asshole. But you still hit me up at midnight askin what im doin. You still come here to see my roommate...then sneak over to my room. You....still cant let go of flashbacks from 2 yrs ago that arent happening ever again....and you watch my bedroom light to see if im up...but you dont think im attractive. Stay Classy Norfolk!

UGLY. AND it was Easter. F'd up that girls dinner. She OBVIOUSLY hit me up on Facebook Chat...which lead to me saying things such as " You know what? F this conversation" and ignoring the essay length message she sent me.I'm having a damn near hour long plus argument...on the internet; I began to feel stupid so I ended that BS . Now we on a "Hi and Bye" basis and that's COOL as HELL with me. The day I accept disrespect where I lay my head at is the same day I actually hit the gym (aka NEVER.)

Random Shots

• Told a girl she must enjoy sucking meats after she confessed to getting her mouth skeeted in. Later apologized online. Her response made me wish I didn't. Now I'm not saying sorry for anything lmao...blame her.
• Didn't dance with my prom date a majority of the night cause I was pissed at her. Def didn't go near her till like the 6th song.
• Didn't tell a female friend that a dude who she was diggin was only out to smash her insides out. Only didn't speak on it cause i felt to blow the whistle on "competition" is dishonorable.
• Pushed up on a girl's friend right in front of her...because the original girl was *ahem* stuntin so in my mind showing "yo I will GET AT YO FRIEND" would speed up the process...this didn't really work it just made her fight for my attn more...HA! (smh)
• Got hit with the "I Love You" text message and changed shucked and jived my way out of having to say I love You back. See? I'm not you lames. Talmbout "I had to say I love you back Rob! I had no choice!" Yes you did...if you don't mean it don't say it; the female heart is delicate.Toying around with that L word will get you killed or stalked...or both.
  

I think that's about it for all my wrongdoings. With this said....you've noticed a recurring theme....about 95% of these girls deserved it lmao. I'd also do almost all of thse over again. Some things I wish I handled differently but...ehh not really .But don't get me wrong! I'm not a TOTAL dickface. I care. It's just most people don't give me a reason to. I could've made a "good things Rob has done for women" post but...no one wants to read that shit. Plus that reeks of "Rob is online tooting his own horn".

Until next time (aka sometime soon)!

The Affair.

When I was younger ( I really don't know how old I was) , my mom once told me I don't love anything. I don't care about anyone thing enough to actually put forth the effort.

Now you know how when someone very important to you....tells you some REAL shit? Me...I'm a relatively angry person so naturally...I was pissed off (on the inside my pops is 6'3 260 and my mom will warm me up before he whoops my young ass).

It made me mad but....It was true...very true. I've gone through life surviving off natural talent..charm..and humor until recently. I lacked the determination to go hard and work towards any "goal". I was a lil more than above avg in school so...really it didn't affect me like that. I just didn't have a passion like other kids.

And I've done every activity out there....African/Modern Dance..Basketball...Little League Baseball...Shotokan(Karate)...Electric Guitar....I even had a lil poetry stint when I was youngn but I hung that up (I should pick it back up...Nothing is more beautiful than fitting words together...)

I was..aight at the worst in all of said activities but...I just didn't care.

On a whole though, that one quote from my moms describes me fully...even to this very moment. I love alot of things for a little while then I quickly become bored. Good example...college radio. I lived and breathed this shit when I first started. I CARED. I was passionate about it and felt disrespected by people who were involved but did radio for other reasons (a lust for attention , girls who giggle and say "OMG DONT YOU HAVE A SHOW?!?!", people who are obsessed with hearing their own voice). But after a while , the strain , the stress, things that went on behind the scenes that pissed me off...they wore on me. Left me jaded.I'm 3 semesters in and chasing a high so to speak ; I dont feel the way i felt sophomore year when it all started , and I'm unsure if I ever will. What bothers me the most is it comes through in my show; radio is unforgiving. If you don't care, everyone can tell immediately.

But....even though our relationship is bumpy as hell , and shes not making me chicken rice like she used to , and she nags every Monday and Wednesday at 6-8PM....I still love her punk ass. I double majored...for radio. I applied to an XM internship...for radio. I'm serious about this....I'm just starting to feel like I hit my ceiling as far as college radio is concerned. I'd like to spread my wings at WODU but i feel like I can't. I also only feel that a couple people really care about this....A few serious people and a bunch of people who are bullshitting...how could i not feel tired??? Exasperated??? Can you really blame me???



See mom??? I finally love something.

Have a Chilled Shot Of Piss!

BLOAW!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been MIA for uh...a lil over 2-3 months now....SMH. Trust...I've been tryna post for a while.

Just loggin in and staring at the blog like "0_0 type something semi relevant....please...something.." and all that comes out is titty references and school complaints -sigh-

I owed this to y'all to get a post off. My last post was depressing as shit ; didnt want y'all to think I offed myself or anything....

With that said in my absence...A couple things have occurred...Spent New Years Day with someone I'm not counting on seeing soon (if ever again :\) due to her goin back to school....Met alot of people...said alot of crazy things...was drunk more times than i planned....lmao

I also turned 21. Shit was anticlimactic but I made up for it the next weekend so everyone wins!

This wasn't amusing...this was the warm up post...Get out my face...

-turns to next post-

oh heres some videos....let em sink in



^MF DOOM...not for everyone but...watch anyway



^Yep...benzino bum ass....song is nice though



^Janet - Rock With U....song and video are SILLY

and that is all....