Someone has to be honest.

DISCLAIMER: I'M NOT A BITCH...-sigh-

So um....I went to go see an old friend on Thursday. The plan was to watch movies...Purple Rain to be exact (lmao go ahead hate on it...prince is cooler than you your parents and everyone else you love).....It was fun it went well...She even bought me food!(Good look yo I owe you one...) But at some point we were wrestling and i flipped her over....I was helping her up and it hit me like a Mike Tyson uppercut....

I might be diggin her more than I thought.

Rob:"You good?"
Her: "Yeah I'm ok"


We both smiled and ...FROZE.
At this point I'm thinkin...oh what the hell...but i didn't do anything....for the first time in a whiiiiileeeeeeee I couldn't make a move on a female. I rode home all distraught (shoutout to the LIRR). I couldn't figure out what was stopping me....

It was...myself. She is a really really cool friend and has put me onto alot of shit I wouldn't learn otherwise about women and life in general. The thing that creeped me out was realistically 2 things. One is normal, second is some total "Rob is 20 going on 43" shit.

NUMBER ONE!
The percentage of me getting rejected (albeit in my opinion...i feel it was pretty low..no humility down here at DMR) was enough to make me not wanna do it. You ever have a friend who likes you try to take it there and say they diggin you or worse...try something? And you not feeling it?...Relationship RUINED. That shit never gets fixed and you look at them different FOREVER.I've lived this multiple times; needless to say me and those females aren't as cool as we used to be if even at all. I value our friendship pretty highly...highly enough that I'd rather not have to wish things could be normal again after I try somethin...And that sounds super lame....especially coming from me cause really??? Youre my female friend??? You gimme the opportunity...and i if i think you're cute, I'm gonna take you up on it(and some of yall, im tryna get you to throw me the alley but you're being difficult for no reason -_-).Oddly enough most of my female friends are kinda cute lol...and lets get THIS straight...i am a STRANGER to the friend zone...I've broken out of it , rarely been put in it , put in it by girls i didnt and never wanted lmao...IN SHORT...I'm no lame...

NUMBER TWO!
Even if she did go along with it....now what? We talk on the regular....we both have egos and i personally feel we'd both give each other space to not "look like a fiend". We are at somewhat similar points in our lives when it comes to the opposite sex, the difference mainly being girls just (as in 2-4 yrs) started actually liking/taking me seriously. I'm gettin kinda popular with the ladies, she has plenty fans/groupie niggas....I do not want her to look at me like "another dude". And I'm sure she doesn't wanna be put into the "girls chasing Rob" list. This just makes it awkward and the dynamic of the relationship will change...and theres no way around that.

Now...don't get me wrong. This isn't some OH DAMN sort of revelation. I know i liked her a little for a while now. I expressed it just to throw it out there and that was that , no big deal , no real changes between us. Far as i know , theres a mutual attraction. It's just I never expected to have to pull some ol corny "BUT SHES MY FRIEEEENDDDDDD ITS NOT LIKE THATTTTT" shit. I even admitted how i felt about the whole situation to her , and I only felt SLIGHTLY better. I mean its been a couple days; I'm pretty much over it. Seeing as how we're gonna be friends for a while from what I see , I don't think this is just gonna go away. In some way , it has to be addressed. How?...Not to sure about that at the moment but I have other things on my plate i need to think about so...eh...

With that said, what's life without the awkward parts...the difficulty....the conversations you don't want to have?...Exactly. It's not life at all.

Whatever though...I got some people to meet next week so that should be fun...

And for the record some events from this week will not be mentioned on the blog...ill say this...I had fun lmao....

I'm GONE!



and go buy that Lloyd - Lessons In Love...not that i did or anything...but its hot!