Keep It Simple.

I'm gonna discuss someone who is vitally important in my life.

Someone I blatantly under-appreciate.

Someone I downright was at war with at a point in time.




My father.


Now my dad...is like a TV dad. 6'3. Strong. Heart of gold. The EPITOME of bravery. Easily the most charming person I know. And as a kid...he was my hero. I wanted to be just like him...even though I didn't know it. I wanted to be a cop...just like him. I even chewed my food like him (he doesn't even know this).You ask me at that age...no one is cooler than him. Not even the Green Ranger!!!!!!!!!!!

But our issue?? We are too much alike. And we always were.

So naturally when I hit that good ol' 13-14 "I got a lil facial hair so F everyone else" age...It was ugly. I'm talking about we arguing like meatheads...OVER THROWING OUT THE GARBAGE. WASHING DISHES!!!!...sad in hindsight. Imagine being an overly mature for your age young teen...and not having the greatest relationship with the grown version of you. Naturally , I'm doing everything to not be like him. That's just how I felt....it is what it is.

I went through some issues right before my freshman year (2006). He said something to me that...rubbed me the wrong way. I'm not putting my whole life out there...but that's basically what it was. I went off to college with a fire in my soul that I still can't recreate. It affected my whole style. Everything. My words. My demeanor. Unfortunately...my relationships. I was too brash. Didn't wanna commit to anything. Liked to keep to myself even more than usual.

Thing about me is I suck at fixing bridges. If I'm not in the wrong I'm not interested with cleaning anything up. I'm not gonna change either cause I see life like this. If we're not "cool"...there's a good reason. You don't like me?? You probably have a valid reason...won't keep me up at night.


But me and my dad kept me up at night. I mean nightmares of us arguing type shit. I think something finally clicked the night I had a dream we had a sword fight...but neither of us would get hurt. I woke up and knew....I had to change.

What's so wild is...ever since I turned about 18 he's treated me the way I always wanted ; like a grown man. So you give me that amount of respect???...Time for me to act like a grown ass man.

I knew I didn't spend enough time with him when I was home. Then I imagined how it must feel for your freshly 21 yr old son to be more involved with his own life. The same son you scrubbed in the bathtub 20 years ago. Nearly bought me to tears (anyone will tell you I'm not a very emotional guy at all).

So this summer... I talked to my father a lot. Spent time with him...not as much as I could've but I'll improve. He's real religious...I'm not. I think he understands but I respect him. Personally , I'm still on a search when it comes to religion(that's a whole 'nother discussion). I He loves fishing. He loves watching NBA games. He's also the greatest father anyone could ask for. In all our talks I've learned who my father is again. I've become a better man due to it....I understand everything I do.

When I look in the mirror and I see him. When I talk...that's my dad. My sense of humor???...Same guy. I'm at peace with myself...the one thing that was bothering me for so long...is finally straightening out. I've improved across the board...when I finally stopped being selfish.

To wrap it up...he IS my hero. I can only wish that I'll be even half the man my father is. How dare I harbor anger towards him...when he stuck around. I'm a dying breed : A black youth with a father who's still in his life. He's been married to my mom 20 plus years. In addition to being a great man..he's shown me how to be a great husband. Thank you.


I told y'all this for one reason. Get yourself right with those you love. You never know how much it's bogging you down until it's alleviated.

So in conclusion...I love you Dad. See ya on Thanksgiving!

See you soon. No really this time...lol